Discoveries
by Vic'chonn
Summary: Accompanying piece for "Realizations." This time, it is from his perspective.


I know. I have disappeared from earth and will continue maintaining this status until I finish my thesis, graduate, and finally find a job. OK. Maybe until I finish my thesis.

This is the accompanying piece for **Realizations**. This time, it is from his point of view.

Vic

* * *

**Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply**

**Discoveries**

You smile as you watch her playing at the edge of the park's fountain. Her calm brown eyes glance at you and you wave. She's so different from _her_. She's quiet, poised; her expression so solemn that it's almost tragic. But you like her like that.

No. You _love_ her like that. You discovered that she's the _one_ you need, and although you hurt another gentle heart in the process you couldn't keep lying to yourself. You were tired of your previous relationship; you needed a break from the old routine. You simply wanted out. And unwillingly, you found her. At one of those random parties, you saw her from a distance and your interest picked.

It was not your fault that she captivated you.

_She _would move on, the other generous woman who used to hold your heart. You know that. _She _is strong.

Brushing your red bangs away from your eyes, you decide to join her. It's not time to dwell on the past.

* * *

Sometimes when you come back home from work you wonder over and over again if things _could_ change. It's not that you don't love her anymore. It's just that…

You aren't sure.

She's endearing. She does what she can to make you feel happy. But even with her patience you know she's getting tired. She looks sadder, gloomier. During some nights, you prefer to stay up working and looking outside your window instead of joining her in the warm bed.

You need more vibrancy, more life – her silent attitude can be frustrating sometimes. While once upon a time it was enigmatic, now it's just so terribly troublesome.

And even if you don't want to, even if you feel very guilty about it, you can't help but remember bright blue eyes. As you stare at the moonlight and wonder about the what if's and the what it could have been's, you can't help but to ask yourself if you will ever see them again.

* * *

It was mutual. You actually saw it coming long ago.

You hardly saw each other and even though you were living in the same house, you hardly stayed together for more than necessary.

Nodding your head, you see her move the last suitcases out of the room. With a hug and a brief smile she disappears through the door, the final divorce papers on the coffee table next to the pile of today's mail.

You notice a pale rose-colored envelope, not belonging among the shades of white and cream and wrinkled paper.

* * *

She calls you to ask you if you would like to go.

You stay silent not knowing what to say. You honestly don't.

"I understand if you don't want to." Her voice pauses in the phone. "I know it hurts."

How right she is. Although you are not together anymore, you still kept in touch. Resentment is a natural petty feeling, but friendship is difficult to find and maintain.

"I think she would be happy if you go. You haven't seen in her for a while."

Your heart twists and wrenches. You regret that. The other woman you thought you had left behind, that same woman has been plaguing you even though you decided to start a new life – with someone else. You regret not talking to her anymore. You regret not contacting her during all these years so when you finally realized what you had childishly and stupidly abandoned, it's already too late.

"I will go." You reply. "I want to see her again."

* * *

She looks so incredibly beautiful in white. Her smile is as bright as the sun and her eyes sparkle like perfect jewels. Not even the veil can hide their beauty.

She walks slowly, delicately and yet firmly holding the bouquet of flowers in front of her.

The song is perfect, the melody harmonious and soothing and yet so full of joy.

The place is perfect. The location, the decorations – there is nothing out of place. It seems like a fairytale.

She stops and the veil is lifted. A kiss on the cheek and loving nothings are whispered to her ears.

She makes a stunning bride. Your feel a tug in your heart.

But she's not yours.

* * *

You disliked before but you never hated. At this moment, this seems the only feeling you have towards this man.

The man who is dancing next to the one you loved and want to love again. The man who's taking her in his arms and holding her as if she's the most precious thing in the world. The man who just an hour ago made her his before God and the Law.

You cannot help but hate this man because he's the epitome of what you cannot and will never be for her.

The man she loves.

* * *

You're at the park. The same one where you told a young love that things should end, where you smiled for a new woman whom you pursued because you wanted to unravel the mysteries she hid within her soul.

This was also the same park where you came to after the same young love you abandoned became a mature, wonderful being and the bride of a man you don't desire to name or remember.

You're walking distractedly until you notice a familiar face. The same face that haunts you on some nights when you reminisce and want to go back to the past.

She noticed you too and greets you with the liveliness that characterizes her as you approach her. You smile at her, truly happy because you're seeing her, because she's with you.

But as soon as you notice the hand resting on her growing stomach, the same despondency that has been plaguing you comes back.

You keep your mask, though. For her sake and yours. You ask her how long.

"Four months!" She basically chirps and you feel that you need to get away soon. You can't handle this.

With lame excuses and a hurried apology, you turn your back and leave her.

You walk away but not too far. Just enough so she can't see you.

You watch her as she sits down on a bench and stares at nothing. You watch her as the other man comes and kisses her. You watch as they embrace and start leaving the place.

You watch and your hands fist because even though you don't wish her anything but happiness, you selfishly wish that happiness could be found with you.

You were right. Long ago, while standing at this park, you thought that she would move on because she was strong.

And she was. She is. She is because now she laughs and smiles and enjoys life as she walks away with the man who is the father of the child you cannot not have.

End


End file.
